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Here are some Edible Nightmares interviews:

Uzi Melodica

SETH G. NADEL AND TOUPEE JEFF TALK WITH
US ABOUT LIFE, LOVE AND NERD ROCK MUSIC- EDIBLE NIGHTMARES

Im sitting here in a Starbucks coffee shop in Barnes
and Noble with unsigned rock duo Edible
Nightmares. Why are we sitting in Starbucks? Were
connoisseurs of rock music and coffee says Seth,
the bands virtuistic guitarist and semi-competent
accordionist. I explain my theory that Starbucks are
really alien fronts landing on the upper west side to
take over the world through bad overpriced trendy
foodstuffs. This makes Toupee Jeff, the other,
quieter, half of the band and a Juliard trained pianist,
a bit nervous. Can we just cut this short? he asks.
No, I reply. Interviewing Edible Nightmares is a bit
weird for me personally because, aside from Seths
late night telephonic accordion serenades, I haven't
heard a single one of their songs. Which leaves the
conversation to wander in strange and dangerous
directions, like what the band members do in their
spare time and why Seth feels an extra-special
kinship with Barry Manilow... Uzi Melodica: ok kids, so then todays topics are... rock,
coffee and...
Seth: LOVE!
Jeff: SEX! sex, sex, sex...
UM: care to elaborate? unh... do we WANT you to elaborate?
Seth: love is similar to a cup of coffee... sometimes its good, sometimes it tastes like urine... and sometimes if you spill it on yourself youll burn yourself...
UM: profound...
Jeff: love with sheep is good! sheep, dogs, cows... horses... zebras... and elephants...
UM: wait, lets go back to the sheep... I say draw your own conclusions...
Jeff: TWO sheep are better than one!
Seth: i would clone coffee... returning us to the allegory of coffee equals love... [pause]
UM: ok then, lets talk about music...
Seth: yeah, something we know about...
UM: ok, so you guys are a two piece rock band?
Seth: Nono, CURRENTLY, were a two piece rock duo... yeah!
Jeff: were a two man band.

Seth: weve been thru several drummers and bassists... right now weve both been doing a little percussion and bass stuff on the recordings...

UM: multi talented guys here!

Seth: well, right now were composing. weve got a lot of songs, they're not all finished yet... were finishing them up, were in the process of scouting out record labels [here Seth gets a mischievous look in his eye and grabs the mic] SO ANY MAJOR LABELS READING THIS [don't think we need to worry about that one Seth- Ed.] weve been trying to do club gigs... and well, basically we want to become big ass rock stars! Then well become addicted to heroin instead of coffee... really, we want to do the whole rock trip.

Seth: right now were really on the bottom of the hill We wanna claw our way up the hill, get rich, play shows, get women... women, women are a big objective right Toupee? Then well go on reunion tours and get that cool burnt out look... that's what we wanna do.

UM: rock ON!

Seth: that's what we want to be really, rock icons...

Jeff: then we can go pull the Elton John syndrome and go around crying for our gay lovers... that comes after the heroin.

Seth: [aside] leave that out...

Jeff: DON'T LEAVE IT OUT... this is important! after that well start getting better in rehab and our songs will take a turn towards the 70s...

UM: prophetic words here with the Edible Nightmares... so you guys want to tell us about your music? Seth: yeah! my name is Seth G. Nadel... that's my REAL name, unlike toupee whos got a band name

UM: what's G stand for?

Seth: G stands for my middle name

Jeff: NONO! don't tell

Seth: which i cant tell you now... it will be revealed in our music...

Jeff: later on in our careers... when were having a downfall and we need a popularity boost... well reveal Seths middle name...

Seth: but anyway, i sing lead vocals, i play guitar, both electric and acoustic, i play the lovely accordion... right now I've been doing percussion but we hope to get a percussionist soon... why don't you tell them a little bit about you Jeff?

Jeff: i'm a concert pianist, i put my talents into the keyboard... with my friend Seth weve pulled some mean sessions, were writing hit after hit...I'm really trying to keep serious here... I'm discovering my sexuality...

Seth: i see Jeff cant really describe himself here so i will hes a wonderful piano player whos trying to maintain his musical integrity here while playing with the Edible Nightmares... he plays keyboards, pianos and organs as well as doing other sound effects... i repeat, hes TRYING to keep his musical integrity while playing with the band.

UM: and while doing this interview...

Seth: ESPECIALLY doing this interview...

Jeff: while not playing Bach toccata and fugues and Rochmoninov, Mozart.

Seth: [leave all this out]

UM: [I'm NOT going to leave this out!]

Jeff: Hayden and Beethoven ill be playing with the Edible Nightmares...

UM: so then, for those who havent already heard, who would you say some of your biggest musical influences are?

Seth: We play a complete mix of lots of genres... The Beatles of course... They Might Be Giants are also really big. Ben Folds Five, Devo... Squeeze.

Toupee: I'd say we really like to call ourselves nerd rock

Seth: yeah, wed consider ourselves nerd rock.. tho were not really nerds.

Jeff: yeah, we do a little polka

Seth: no! no polka... even tho i play accordion no polka

Jeff: country...

Seth: NO! no country, leave that out! what are you saying?!

Jeff: i need to give them something to edit...

Seth: were really not into punk and hardcore, really more bouncy catchy pop...

UM: so then, both of you, if you had to pick a current rock musician to identify with, who would it be?

Seth: oh... um... I'd say Barry Manilow. wait, was he the one who did Coppa Cabana? I'd say him... although we sound nothing like him... we wanna get as many women as he has... hes our role model really...

Jeff: YOUR role model. you asked who i identify with

UM: yes, i did.

Jeff: and I'd have to say Elton John...

Seth: our music doesn't reflect that for the record!

Jeff: yes, but my personality would have to connect to him

Seth: hes not gay.

Jeff: no, hes bi actually.

Seth: no, i meant YOUR not gay...

Jeff: oh nono... right of course. he started off in the royal symphonic music school

Seth: and its been all downhill from there! oh look! its a lady with a cello...lets all wave! all: HI LADY WITH CELLO!

UM: so then, where's you musical career going? Seth: weve been trying to get gigs, find a label, [here Jeff leaves] write songs... formative stuff...

UM: where's he going? hes trying to pick up the lady with the cello... [silence]

Seth: shes not bad either... Jeffs in love with cellists... should i go over there?

UM: nah, let him do his thing... well, now I'm here with SETH G. NADEL of Edible Nightmares...

[silence]

[Jeff returns]

Jeff: I'm terribly sorry about that... i see a cello and i just go mad, i cant control myself...

UM: quite the ladies man then... get her to join your band. LOTS of great rock bands have cellos!

Jeff: were not rap.

UM: ROCK!

Jeff: NERD Rock... capitol N, capitol R

UM: not nrrd rock? Seth: no, definitely an e...

UM: so in terms of what kind of music you do, do you do a lot of covers or... what? Seth: yeah, we do a few covers for some compilations... stuff. in practices too... but we mostly do our own stuff... which, just to stress again, we mostly classify as Nerd Rock Jeff: and if we cant name a song, like our most favorite one, then we just name it after the chords... like our most famous one E/F - sharp/ A/ B... Seth: we don't have a name for it so we just call it the E/F-sharp/A/B Song. Jeff: i think its really good. UM: that's what the kids are gonna be yelling for at the shows 10 years from now... Seth: why don't you ask us some of our hobbies? UM: ok, what ARE your hobbies? Seth: unh... women... unh... UM: do we WANT to know your hobbies? Jeff: dirty... no, don't write that.. actually, a point on Seth... several months ago we were down on St. Marks Place. UM: the allure of... Jeff: and there were these French students. so Seth took out, no he whipped out his accordion and simply dazzled them! Seth: i blinded them with music. Jeff: yeah, and we almost got beat up... but it was one of our most diverse audiences. UM: wow, classy... Seth: those guys who owned the stores were quite irate! UM: One last question we ask everyone... if you were to stalk one person who would it be? Jeff:can't answer that one! I know my friend Susie would stalk Elton John (i think she already is) but Suz loves gay guys!! she's going to have a hard life! if you NEED an answer, tell them this: all the artists i love to the point of madness and stalking, are the decomposing composers. unfortunately, there isn't much left of them to stalk. you can still hear Beethoven but Beethoven cannot hear you. The pianos Bach played are still working, but he's still 6 feet underground! so as far as today, it'd definitely be Leonard Bernstein. UM: wow... well, i think its time to bring this to a close. Id just like to thank you on behalf of Uzi Melodica, i sincerely hope we didnt interrupt your lives too much and stay tuned to these pages for EN club dates and info!